No idea what that means, but we should all use it at work. "Johnson, what's the status of the McNichol file?"
"Doggie's on the gank, sir."
As you may know, the Newfoundland won the Westminster Dog Show. My family owns a Newfie named Calamity. Middle brother calls her Mitty, I call her Calamadog. Her head is likely bigger than yours. Here's a story about me being dumb that relates to her:
I was in Ghana, having dinner with white people who travel the world and casually mention their travels over pumpkin soup and mushroom ravioli. I was having a delightful time self-congratulatingly dropping past destinations. If we could go back and watch a video of the dinner evening on video tape, I wouldn't be surprised to see myself talking like Ted Knight's character in Caddyshack. Well, Ghana's is really my kind of Africa. Not too many carjackings, not so many pushy whores. It's the way to go.
And then a new guy came to the table. What exciting place would he be from? How unimpressed would I act? "This is Greg, our resident Newfie," said my friend. And before I could vet my thoughts, my mind made a free association and the stupidity rolled out.
"Oh my parents own a Newfie!"
Patronizing eyebrows: "Hmm. Okay."
Socially inadequate for the rest of the night. I told Greg I was from Kentucky, hoping on the outside chance that he would express his admiration for the Colonel's recipe. No such luck. Ever. Oy. Damn.
