(But kicking's for sissies...)
Joe Montana had a skit on SNL about fifteen years ago: Jan Hooks and Phil Hartman sit on a couch, their horny internal monologues playing out between dialogue. In walks Montana as Hartman's roommmate. But Montana's internal monologue is just an affirmation of what he says out loud:
"Nice to meet you." It's nice to meet her. "I'm going to go to my room now and masturbate." I'm going to go to my room now and masturbate.
Horrible image aside, the skit did a good job of mocking the vacuum behind Montana's happy eyes. Here's one of the best QB's ever, and he could never get a promotion deal better than L.A. Gear. He was that turgid.
But now Tom Brady is the new Joe, if only by personality: pity the SI writer who has to write yet another article about the horribly benign MVP.
Obviously, said writer must have been rooting for QB Jake Delhomme: he had the underdog status, the idiotic haircut. But twas not to be.
Astronaut tribute, with creepy Teen Idol anthem: awful. Halftime lipsync: awful even with Janet Jackson's flopping mommybag. And then the stupid field goal at the end of the game: stupid.
Would not the whole sport be better if field goals were excised? Do they really do anything but crown an arbitrary winner? Isn't the whole kicking a ball thing foppishly unAmerican? Screw you, Al Del Greco!
