Again today I tried to communicate a fax number to the dunderflunkos at the Chadian Ministry of Information:
"Two five four."
"Two."
"Two five four."
"Two?"
"Two five."
"Two?"
"Yes, two. Then five."
"Two. Five."
"Four."
"Two?"
"Four! Two five four!"
"Hello?"
"Two five four!"
"Hello?"
"My God!"
"Hello?"
"Two!"
"Two."
"Five!"
"Two five."
"Four!"
"Two?"
"You ratstumping-"
"Two? Hello? Two?"
"Two five four! Two five four! Two five four!"
"Two?"
This phone number had ten digits. And this was the office's English speaker. I had to call three times to find him.
You want to know what the pettiest thing about the Chadian Ministry of Information is? They answer the phone by saying "Hello." And so every time, you think you have found a guy who can speak English. So you say hello back, and before you're on your third word, the guy on the other land tisks you with "No English! Francois! Francois!" You never know the score until they start tisking you.
When the Chadians finally did send the fax, half of it didn't come through. From right to left, the text just fades to nothing. The left side, where the letterhead and the all-important bureaucratic signature would go, are just empty. And it's past five. Nothing to do but try again tomorrow. Sucker.
