I Want to Watch Baseball, Not a Three-Hour Taco Bell Commercial: Their radar gun bursts into flames. The in-game graphics beep and sing like crazy for no particularly reason. Sometimes there are robots. And yet, I put up with all of it. Until now. Starting with last night's "unscripted" conversation between Royce Clayton and Coco Crisp about the free taco giveaway (you can call it unscripted all you want, but why else would ROYCE CLAYTON be mic'd up?) I think Buck and McCarver have talked more about the free tacos than baseball.
Video: Royce Clayton and Coco Crisp's Unscripted Conversation About Fast Food: Just so you know. Don't you feel better now? Televised sports aren't completely commercialized, it's all an illusion.
The Debriefing: SchruteBucks XXIV: If you've got a Heisman vote, and you were taking notes on BC quarterback Matt Ryan's performance last night, your scratchpad might look something like this:
• Okay, that was actually a pretty sweet drive
• My God, he can do that?
• HOLY #*^@! This guy is amazing. I want him to marry and impregnate my daughter immediately
La Russa: I'm Hip, I'm With It: "I would venture to say that the guy who comes in, if he's half my age, probably goes to less rock and roll shows than I do," the 63-year-old La Russa said Monday after he agreed to a new two-year contract with the St. Louis Cardinals that will pay him $8.5 million and make him the highest-paid manager in baseball.
Where Was Matt Holliday Going? With runs at a premium, Holliday's move is going to go down as positively boneheaded if only because Holliday looked so lost getting back to the bag ... especially with a power hitter like Helton at the dish.
Tonight Is Not a Must-Win Game for Colorado: The Rockies still hold one of the greatest home field advantages in all of baseball. Sure, their home/road splits this year won't knock your socks off, but there's no denying that Coors Field is a difficult place for visiting pitchers. In short, it will be much more difficult for the Red Sox to adjust to Coors than it is for the Rockies to adjust to Fenway.
Belichick Calls Randy Moss Smartest Receiver: It must really sting the Raiders --more than any other team -- to see how well Moss is doing for New England. On top of all the problems he had in Oakland, to now here Belichick rave about how intelligent Moss is on the field, must really hurt them.
San Diego Mayor: Chargers Can Play Sunday at Qualcomm Stadium Despite Wildfires:Texans coach Gary Kubiak said he had heard that the NFL was leaning toward moving the game to Monday night, but now Sunday appears to be the most likely option. If the game stays on Sunday it will be broadcast on CBS; if it moves to Monday night it will be broadcast, most likely, on ESPN2. An official announcement is expected tomorrow.
Stern Admits Most Refs Gamble, Doesn't Care: Plus, the league will devise and implement brand-new statistical tracking systems to monitor their refs. Those systems will be for internal use, of course, but I'm curious if we'll see more interest in unofficial referee stats, or if we'll just forget about this completely in a matter of months.
Video Lesson: Don't Fight Chara: David Koci's new in the league, so perhaps it's understandable. We've already established that his hockey talents are limited. Maybe he didn't know? Maybe he's used to fighting 6-foot-9 Slovak giants? Maybe... he enjoys getting his head split open? (Cue the gore warning...)
High School Football:
Hoover High Corrupt to Its Core: Sorry to be cynical, but I've reached the point where I just assume that any high school athletic team that you can watch on TV has to be corrupt. All those administrators who are proud that teenage athletes are making their schools famous ought to be ashamed.
Love, Sports and Michigan:
My Brief Fling With Tom Izzo: That includes my beautiful wife, a graduate of a certain school in East Lansing. I love her deeply but that doesn't mean I don't want her Spartans to suffer beatings on a regular basis. My lack of respect for her alma mater reared its head at our very first meeting. I found out she went to Michigan State and, being the smooth lothario that I am, responded, "I went to Michigan, that must mean I'm smarter than you." Why am I telling you this? Because Dan Shanoff shared the roots of his fanaticism for the Florida Gators on his website today.
USC, Ohio State, Michigan and the Hundred-Yard Stare: Unlike Dan, when I had the chance to glam onto the loyalties of a woman who was a fan of one of college football's most storied teams, I blanched. The week of the 2003 Ohio State-Michigan game comes around, and she asks me if I'd like to come over and watch the game. I say sure, which was around the time I remembered that I had that cap and jersey stashed away somewhere. Come game day, I dug them out of a closet and threw them on, thinking that I'd get a big laugh once I showed up at her front door. It didn't quite work out that way.