Media Crotch Watch:Aubrey Huff Probably Won't Be Doing Radio Again Anytime Soon: It's not quite Wilt Chamberlain's 20 grand, but still, I doubt that tidbit makes it's way into the Orioles media guide next year. Of course, he probably won't catch Wilt the Stilt now that he's married -- as he was all too happy to share, he simply takes care of himself these days, if you catch my drift.
Video: Mario Gomez Scores a Goal With His Crotch: German newspapers are calling it "the first penis goal in the Bundesliga." As someone who has taken the full brunt of a corner kick to the crotch, I am in awe of VfB Stuttgart's Mario Gomez. How he got away from this shot without doubling over in complete agony remains a complete mystery to me. He must have the hardest balls on the planet -- and if they're that hard, he really should get them checked.
MLB:
The 2008 Free Agent Class Is Going to Cripple Teams for Years to Come: Right now we're probably talking $80 million or more for Rowand and probably nine figures for Hunter. They're both nice players and all, but pardon me while I scoff at this insanity. Hunter's only slugged better than .500 twice and he's never had an OBP above .340. Rowand has managed two above average seasons at the plate in his four full years.
FanHouse TV: Tony La Russa's Thug Life: You may remember back at the beginning of the 2007 MLB season, when Tony La Russa got a little angry with the St. Louis Post-Dispatch over a mean-spirited and lame poem it ran about the Cubs. Well, there was this other part of the presser, where La Russa somehow morphed into Tupac Shakur and his words didn't match his lips at all and it was edited horribly.
NCAA Football Hatred:
College Football Songbook: O H I Oh Damn! At this point in a year that will be known more for upsets than anything else, it really shouldn't come as any surprise to see Ohio State lose to an unranked team. But surprise or not, we enjoyed it! And are very thankful that we won't have to listen to Ohio State fans in our office talk about a national title for at least another year. Yes, some things are business, and some things are personal. This is a little of both.
Video: Ohio State Loses With Dignity, and by "Dignity" We Mean "Midfield Brawl": Amongst the guys throwing for the Buckeyes down are key starters Brian Robiskie and Malcolm Jenkins. The Big Ten is reviewing the tape and will issue a ruling sometime late this week; one million dollars says no one gets suspended for the defacto Big Ten championship game. Meanwhile, Illinois is developing a nasty habit of sparking ugly postgame melees. There is, of course, the above video; last year an attempted flag-planting at Spartan Stadium led to a bit of nastiness.
We Burned Your Town To The Ground! You can have your Ohio State v. Michigan or Alabama v. Auburn, but the last time I checked nobody from Columbus ever went to Ann Arbor and systematically executed every man they could find while burning the town to the ground. And certainly nobody made t-shirts later celebrating that fact.
Joe Glenn Flips Utah the Bird: Wyoming coach Joe Glenn has guaranteed victory over Utah, but things aren't going so well. Wyoming trails 43-0 midway through the third quarter. Utah, apparently incensed by the guarantee, attempts an onside kick and recovers. Glenn's reaction:
This Week In Schadenfreude: The Horrible Nacho Threat of Ohio: Ohio State, for blowing a national championship shot, you are the Tears of Unfathomable Sadness victor this week. Tressel remains a god to Buckeye fans, but some issues crop up when you yield an eight-minute game-killing drive.
NBA:Jordan's Divorce Costs Him $168 Million: The settlement eclipses the most expensive celebrity divorce on public record, in which Neil Diamond paid his ex-wife Marcia Murphey £75m. After licking his wounds, the singer, who had married the television production assistant before he became famous, won plaudits for his chivalrous verdict. "She's worth every penny," he said.
Video: Paul Millsap Never Saw It Coming: In the example above Millsap serves as a reminder that even elite high-level athletes don't always keep their eyes on the ball the entire time.
Is Ben Wallace a Leader? While this might be the only time I've ever agreed with Smith on anything, he has a point. That Wallace's play has declined isn't so shocking. But it's bizarre that he can't even chip in with some kind of veteran wisdom. Being more interested in his headband than the captaincy seems like something a ne'er do-well like Jackson would do. Not Mr. Defense himself.
NHL:
A Hockey Hall of Fame Experience: Ron Francis may have had the smallest contingent around him, but I loved listening to him talk about some of the good times in his career, from the Whalers to the Penguins to the Hurricanes. Reporter: "Do you ever watch games and think you should still be out there?" Francis: "Hell no!"
