When you wipe the slobber off another another human being's jowls and then stick your wet finger in your mouth to see if that was medicine running down her damn chin, something has changed in your life.
Also, when you run outside to do an errand wearing a t-shirt which, had this been 1999, you would have complimented with a smug, ironic look in your eyes. Only now the shirt is not ironic. Now you're just the guy who will wear clothing given out as part of corporate publicity campaigns. And somehow, this shirt looks less dumb on you than your concert tees.
