My friend and ex-boss Jamie, who I've only met in person twice, has welcomed his new daughter into the world.

As my own daughter is now almost seven months old -- old enough to bedstomp her dad's testicle, as I learned on Saturday -- it occurred to me that I would like to tell him what's coming. But the only non-obvious phenomenon I came up with (besides blah blah feces down your sleeve blah blah piss on the wall blah) was:

• Random people from your past will reappear: You're so desperate for information during those first few weeks, and other recently minted parents are the quickest to email you, that you have a string of strangely meaningful conversations with minor figures from your past. Enjoy these random connections, as your paths will not cross with any of these folks again. Because you'll be busy.
  

Everything else is obvious. Vacations matter more than they ever did before, whether you love your job or hate it. Some couples are deliriously happy, others go into therapy. Some people get fat, some people take better care of themselves than they ever did. Regardless, welcome to the Terrordome, motherfucker.


(This is 1000th post on this blog.)