Barack Osaurus: Good evening. I want to compliment the Nesses for, uh, moving forward very quickly with, uh, this process of buying two crates of baby food today, and myself along with these crates. I recognize that there are still some differences of opinion on whether they should have bought another stuffed animal as part of what was ... somehow supposed to be, or was reported to be, a quick trip to Babies R Us. They may have been wrong, and you can disagree with them, but the Nesses bought me. But. What. I think unifies this group is an understand that we are ... experiencing a ... unprecedented, uh ... crisis. Aaand, uh, no one here is saying that the family went in looking for a stuffed dinosaur. But the idea that ... somehow ... we shouldn't be buying a stuffed dinosaur when the kid sees it and reaches out for it and clearly wants it and Dad already has his debit card out anyway is, I think, is counterproductive. Helen.Q: I'd like to ask you, sir. Every reason the family had given for going to Babies R Us has turned out to be false. My questions is why did they really go to the store?
Barack Osaurus: [Smiles disingenuously] Well it's a pleasure and an honor to take your question, Helen. Uh, I want this to work. This is not an intellectual exercise. But if Damn Wifus or Daddee have good ideas. If they can identify a good idea that does not hamper our ability to get control of our budget and to make the kid happy, then we're gonna do it. I think, uh, without knowing with complete forsight, that they made the right decision. Take a look at this picture. I seem to be her favorite new stuff animals.
In other words, everybody chill the fuck out.
