"Yes, you can ride with the big girl. Just make sure you hold on."
"That a girl."
The following is only visible after photographic review. Notice the one finger off the chain:
Notice the two fingers off the chain:
Notice the five fingers off. Also notice the guy in the gray shirt looking at me like I'm an asshole father.
And then, predictably:
Note: This picture above accurately portrays how reality warps the first second you see your kid take her first faceplant.
(This happened a week ago on plastic foam flooring. The kid was/is fine.)