Women on ice, a $25 fine for Vick, Artest to Miami and the triumph of 'High School Musical 2.' Slooow Monday.
The Year's Most Covered and Least Significant Injury: This is unlikely to affect Clemson in any way with the terrifying one-two punch of James Davis and CJ Spiller (pictured) returning, but you can expect sepia-toned tributes to his remarkable perseverance on ESPN.
'High School Musical 2' Topples Monday Night Football's Cable Ratings Record: It's interesting to know that as big a ratings juggernaut as the NFL is, and as valuable a commodity as Monday Night Football is to ESPN and its parent company, Disney, it turns out that if you can appeal to a bunch of pre-teens, you can get better ratings than the NFL.
Huge Shake-up at NBA TV: Bloomberg reports the NBA has offered 68 full-time employees of its NBA TV premium cable channel buy-outs, and will turn the channel over to a new operator in the coming months.
The Debriefing: The Finals of Who's Erstwhile: Since then, to sports fans, Duval's been little more than a morbid curiosity. In the next 18 majors he played, he's failed to make the cut 13 times, and withdrew once. In the 2004 U.S. Open, he was +25 after two days. He went from being the world's best to being a paler, thinner version of Charles Barkley on the golf course.
Johan Santana, You Are Ridiculous: What's perhaps most incredible about the outing -- and about Santana in general -- is that aforementioned clinical relaxation. He's never overly excited, never seems to have to pump himself up. Calmly, quietly, he destroys you.
Ron Artest to Miami? Forget the fact that Ron Artest would make the Heat automatic title contenders, and instead consider this awesome scenario: Ron Ron in South Beach. All year round. Think about that for a moment, and try not to get excited.
Jeff Maggert on FedEx Cup: Tim Finchem Shoved It Down Our Throats: I think everyone on earth except PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem and some FedEx executives agrees that this whole FedEx Cup idea is kinda stupid. But not many people have been quite as blunt about it as Maggert.
Random YouTube Magic: Carl Lewis: 'Break It Up': The greatest music video of all time? No, it's not Michael Jackson's Thriller. It's this video from Olympic gold medalist Carl Lewis.
Vladimir Putin: Shirtless, Lame Fisherman: Despite the carefully leaked photos of Putin practically glowing with health (pun intended) and fishing shirtless on Siberia's Yenisei River, Russia's most muscular of presidents caught exactly zero of the river's prized taimen, the chief sport fish of the area that allegedly grows to up to 200 lbs in weight.
Video: Arthur Abraham Knocks Out Khoren Gevor: From what I've been able to see on YouTube, Arthur Abraham's victory over Khoren Gevor in Berlin Saturday wasn't much of a fight. But it sure did end with a decisive 11th round knockout.
Making the Ice Girls: Once derided around the league when they came into existence back in 2001, the Islanders are having the last laugh, as now more than half of the league have squads of their own.
The Sad Story of Erik Brown: Ortiz reports that Brown believes "the CIA installed a chip in his brain in a conspiracy that somehow involves his former University of Louisville coach, Rick Pitino."
Mike Vick Fined $25 for Not Wearing Seat Belt: You can't blame Vick for wanting to ride around in a car with tinted windows these days. I imagine that everywhere he goes, he's worried that someone from PETA is going to recognize him and dump red paint on him.
Will Raiders' Offensive Line Play Dirty? Again, cut blocks are legal, and therefore there's nothing illegal about an offensive line coach having his players practice them. But just as Denver fans have grown accustomed to hearing their offensive line described as dirty, Oakland fans should get used to hearing the same. Of course, going from "incompetent" last year to "dirty" this year will suit most Raiders fans just fine.
Maybe Brady Quinn's Holdout Didn't Hurt: Quinn finished 13-of-20 for 155 yards, two touchdowns and no interceptions. He looked like the Browns' best quarterback, but coach Romeo Crennel said afterward that he still had a long way to go before the Browns would name their Week 1 starter.