"I didn't buy cherries. That bag has been sitting in the front of the fridge all week."
"So what's my excuse for eating shit all week?"
"You don't have one, sweetheart."
We both laughed pretty hard. We both needed a laugh, because today was the day after Bug really scared the hell out of us for the first time in a while.
We went out to eat with Damn Sisters last night, and just as the food arrived, Bug's featured melted into a mass of shrieking panic. I took her outside, and walked her up and down the avenue, but she was inconsolable. Minutes later, Damn Wifus came out and took her. Still inconsolable. After 20 minutes of trying, we abandoned dinner to get her in a moving car, which usually does the trick. Inconsolable, especially at red lights, which I began running at the end as she began choking on her slobber.
We got her home, stripped her down, turned off every light in the house and sang a few Beatles songs to her. She eventually fell asleep and we stayed up for another hour wondering what the fuck that was and whether we should call the doctor.
Instead, we just made an extra show of loving her today. Which means hanging out on the floor, which means folding open my Saturday Times and reading about how bad New York parents have gotten about not leaving their kids alone at camp:
“They’ll give their child two cellphones, so if they get caught with the first one, ‘Just give it up and you’ll have the second one to talk to me,’" he said. “That’s widespread, not isolated. I call it fading parental morality. What they’re doing is entering into delinquent behaviors with their children. And what kind of statement is that to a child?”I love the fact that these two trends have developed in concert: Breaking the rules so you can stay in constant contact with your child (thus continuing a fun part of being a parent, where you are a needed co-conspirator) and treating camp like the Betty Ford clinic (thus avoiding a harder part: saying no, breaking the child of a habit which you knowingly got him hooked on).
He and others said parents also frequently send children away without packing their prescribed medication for attention deficits or psychological problems — and without letting camp staff know.
At least one source says this has gotten worse since 9/11, which makes about as much sense as me blaming the Taliban for the fact that I don't know where the cool bars are anymore. It sounds like people just needed an excuse to be selfish.
I can't say we're sure we won't become another pair of idiots. But we sat there on the floor and agreed that we hoped we wouldn't.
In happier news the kid is up and growing again today. Her back muscles and neck control have leaped ahead this week, and her new game is to take her head off my shoulder and get thisclose to my face.
Close enough to lick my face. She just stares.
The sensation is uncomfortable.