Please do scroll all the way to the bottom to find John Radcliffe, Unplugged, singing about how UM "Paid That Cupcake to Come in and Kick Your Ass." It's just like one of the war ballads of old.
ESPN Will Reduce, Not Eliminate, MNF Guests: The good news: Charles Barkley will be back in the Monday Night Football booth this year. The bad news: So will other guests.
Tony Kornheiser, Mike Wilbon Will Do PTI at ESPN Monday Night Football Halftime: ESPN announced the halftime PTI on a conference call to promote Monday Night Football today, and when I asked Kornheiser what we could expect from the halftime segment, he said, "This is the first I've heard we're doing it."
LaDainian Tomlinson Nike Ad Was Originally Supposed to Show the Patriots on Defense: Tomlinson asked them not to. But apparently he didn't specify another team, and the Nike marketing people picked the Bears, who play the Chargers in Sunday's opener.
The Debriefing: Hello, NFL ... Goodbye, Anything Else That Seemed Important: The NFL is our national pastime. It is our church. It is cocaine, and we are Darryl Strawberry.
Humane Society Has Vick's Talking Points: Some Vick supporters have said that Vick must have been sincere in his apology because he gave it without notes. But the Humane Society of the United States says that's not true: According to the Humane Society, Vick had handwritten notes in front of him -- and the Humane Society says it's in possession of those notes.
Report: Mike Vick Dogfighting 'An Open Secret': It's amazing that the Falcons decided to commit to Vick with the biggest contract in the history of the NFL without doing a thorough enough background check to uncover the criminal lifestyle that was apparently known by many.
Carl Peterson: Pushy, Even With the President: I like Peterson's style there, and I like the Chiefs' support for Greenburg, Kansas. Bush looks like he's not accustomed to having anyone demand an answer from him.
An Ode to Miss Gossip: Ballhype's Jason Gurney reflects on our own Miss Gossip's young and fruitful career in the medium of Microsoft Paint.
Ray Allen and the Perils of Charity: Wanting to help others had Ray Allen fearing for his life. He'd also ended up with an organization that was out of control, a good cause that was "threaten[ing] to stain his good name." Next time you groan at a halftime segment on nonprofit, remember how hard it is to do these things right.
KG's Absolutely Insane Vegas Workouts: I couldn't help but think that, as with KG's competitive spirit, there's something a little crazy going on here.
Radio Host Accuses Adam Dunn of Playing a Game Drunk: In all seriousness, what Cunningham did definitely crossed a line. Saying stuff like that can't do anything but start rumors and hurt people. I hate to be all preachy, but stuff like this really irks me.
The Uniform Police Get Lou Piniella, Too: Ahh, the sponsors. And the truth comes out, Major League Baseball doesn't care if the managers wear the uniforms, but the people that make them do.
Paterno Orders Stadium Cleaned Properly: Once it seemed like they had finished the job after over 90 minutes of work, Paterno had a surprise for them. He made them go back and finish, because he didn't think they had done well enough.
Michigan Falls Out of AP and Coaches Polls: It's the first time since 1989, when the AP poll was expanded to include 25 teams, that a team has fallen so far, so fast.
College Football Songbook: You Paid That Cupcake to Come in and Kick Your Ass: season against a 1-AA cupcake, this was supposed to be an easy win. Play hard for a couple quarters and cruise the rest of the way.