Desperate Attempts to Maintain Politeness

A phone conversation I just had:

Two truck company: "Hello?" [Not "Brooklyn Navy Yards," just "Hello"]

Me: "You towed my car."

"Oh, I don't tow cars. I just answer phones."

"OK. Well, 311 told me that-"

"Why don't you give me your license plate number and I will check and see if your car has been towed here."

"--- -----"

"Oh yes we have that car."

"OK. I need to get there by subway, because you have my car. Can you tell me which train stops are nearby?"

"Well I take a taxi in from Queens every day, if you must know. So I would not know anything about that. I believe a bus does come by here."

"OK. Great. Thank you."

Columbia is a Real Estate Company, Not a University

On the one hand, they invest $7 billion to transform 5 or 6 blocks of Harlem into something "which Columbia officials said would eventually include many of the university’s science and research laboratories." The result will no doubt be a towering mass of predictable bullshit-generic-foggy- glasschitecture, and will thus fit right in west Harlem. (Idiots: People, particularly young people, like living in buildings that used to have industrial students.)

On the other hand, Columbia has its very own Depression-era cyclotron (AKA "The Atom Smasher") in their basement, and they're tossing it out with yesterday's cafeteria food:

At Columbia, money was a main issue. Officials said the cheapest alternative was to junk the atom smasher and recycle its metals. (The machine is no longer radioactive.) That might cost $90,000.

Dismantling the machine and putting it into storage until a home could be found for its permanent display might cost twice as much. Readying it for public viewing would cost still more.

Here you have one of the few wonderfully oversized machines that could stand as a symbol of achievements in a way that normal people ("donors" they're called) could recognize. And they junk it.

Staten Island Does Have a Purpose

Guess where Liberia’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission is holding court next month?

Each spasm of violence sent a new set of Liberians to a row of boxy federally subsidized rental buildings in Park Hill. Liberians who moved to New York for school or work began settling there 30 years ago, attracted by the low cost of living. While the wars waged back home, they have found a way to live together: ambassadors’ wives and rural villagers, demobilized child soldiers and a former interim president.

Someday I might leave the city, and I might miss knowing that I'm always so close to the rest of the world. I mean c'mon. Even the Forgotten Borough is more relevant to the world than L.A. and Miami combined.

Music News You Can Booze

Nate Chinen, relatively recent of escapee of the America Online, breaks down how Charlie Parker died all over this city:

But when, in the summer of 1951, Parker’s state-issued cabaret license was revoked, he was barred from working in New York. As his condition deteriorated and the jazz world grew crowded with his imitators, he was forced to seek work on the road. And in 1954, when Chan sent word that their 2-year-old daughter, Pree, had died of pneumonia, the shock sent Parker into a tailspin.

Take note, Kath: Trying to find artistic happiness outside the five boroughs ranks with addiction to heroin and the loss of ones' offspring. Just sayin'.

MORE MUSIC: I thought Rilo Kelley was a woman. But she's not, she's a band. Led by Jenny Watson, who is not part of Wailin' Jennies, (and is not to be confused with Waylon Jennings) but who was introduced to me by Jenny Quinn. Jenny Watson also has a wonderful band with the Watson Twins, but they probably aren't actual sisters or brothers. Eff.

All I know is this ladymusic is coming at me from various angles, which means it's probably gonna hit big soon. So, if you want to look cool, a Jenny Watson-related T-shirt bought sooner is probably > a JWT bought later. Though inevitably some kid will just accuse you of buying it distressed. You can't hardly win.

Men in NYC Make Eff All

Well, that's just not surprising. I didn't pass Damn Wifus in the salary department until after I was 30, which is apparently when the ways of old reassert themselves.

It's pretty amazing when you consider lower Manhattan, where male after male makes a show of paying for their sandwiches with hundred dollar bills, each bill folded in half longways, the paper still damp with each man's natural (but distinctive) douchesyrup.

Note that the ladies aren't getting smarter so much as the men are just spending more time with their dexterous Nintendo thumbs in their butts:

Though Dr. Beveridge’s analysis showed women making strides, it also showed that men were in some ways moving backward. Among all men — including those with college degrees — real wages, adjusted for inflation, have declined since 1970. And among full-time workers with advanced degrees, wages for men increased only marginally even as they soared for women. Nationally, men’s wages in general declined while women’s remained the same.

Up up down down left right left right gun mouth trigger pull.